forgetting to tell a joke<\/a>.
\nThat doesn’t stop this movie sucking, though. I can’t recall why I thought that it might be acceptable. I think that I shouldn’t trust any movie executive produced by Steven Spielberg. Points against you, Mister Spielberg? Transformers<\/I>. This<\/I>. Go back to having little girls kicking velociraptors in the face. I won’t watch it, but I won’t hate you for it.
\nI love Michelle Monaghan, but I wouldn’t see Made of Honour<\/I> for her sake (yet I saw Enchanted despite<\/i> Patrick Dempsey, so I guess she loses to Amy Adams). She doesn’t shine or dull in this movie, she just exists. The same can’t be said for the rest of the movie, although of course Billy Bob Thornton is a good guy, and Rosario Dawson is more than passable, despite giving rise to such dissections of the movie as “Get it? ’cause she’s a woman<\/i>,” and “Get it? It’s ’cause they’re both minorities<\/i>“.<\/p>\nIt’s hard to put a finger on Eagle Eye<\/I>. Is it bland? Kinda. Is it hard to follow? A car chase sequence is like watching a fight scene in Batman Begins<\/I> with your back to the screen and dark glasses on. Is it numbingly stupid? That’s not a fair question, it’s infected to the very marrow in too many ways to count, even if<\/I> you can willingly accept that Hollywood doesn’t understand technology. Lip reading is forsaken for vibration interpretation<\/i>. Is it insultingly derivative? It stole the villain’s grand scheme from the new <\/i>Get Smart movie<\/i>. Don’t get me started on its debt to 2001: A Space Oddysey<\/I>. Or … actually, if I was to continue on that line, I would essentially reference every movie ever made. Eagle Eye<\/I> is so dazzling in its unoriginality that it undoubtedly somehow manages to rip off movies that haven’t even been made yet. Movies that will never<\/i> be made. Hell, it has a sequence that pastiches The Chipmunk Adventure<\/I>. No, really<\/I>. <\/p>\n
It exists entirely outside the space\/time continuum.<\/p>\n
It’s almost impossible to say that there’s anything satisfactory about Eagle Eye<\/i>: every positive aspect has been done better elsewhere. You don’t need to suspend disbelief so much as you do your gag reflex. This is not hyperbole; I actually came out of this movie feeling ill. Not having seen Babylon AD<\/I> yet, which was previewed before this and I am convinced will never come out here despite a release set for next week, I am going to vouch that that<\/I> movie is better than this travesty. Even then, this is not<\/i> the worst film I’ve seen this year.<\/p>\n
Dangit, I should have just seen Mamma Mia!<\/I> for the third time. I hate movies. Chiklis ’08.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
At dinner tonight, I was heard to remark “I regret this evening.” One of my biggest clich\u00c3\u00a9s, and the reason I never really write, is “this movie is the reason I watch movies” or “this movie is the reason I love movies”. Watching Eagle Eye this evening, I was struck with a terrible dread: this is the reason I hate movies. Yes, I watched a movie tonight that turned me against the whole medium. I had the choice between seeing Wall-e again or Eagle Eye. The invisible hand of the free market pointed me in the direction of Eagle Eye, <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-film"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1HLZ6-69","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=381"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":386,"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381\/revisions\/386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/batrock.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![](\"https:\/\/batrock.net\/images\/nbee.png\")
<\/center><\/p>\n