Category: Film

The Great Walk Out

My brother says that he walked out of Tales from Earthsea about two thirds of the way through. This is a concept that I find quite alien.

My friend Phill tends to give up on DVDs if he doesn’t like them in about ten minutes. My cousin Jonathan generally gives a movie he watches at home the chance of half of its running time to prove that it is worth his while. This seems like a decent enough deal. I have a hard enough time watching DVDs in the first place, so if I fear something won’t be worthwhile I generally won’t stick it in my player.

Yet walking out of a cinema seems somehow wrong to me. In theory, one would have spent money on a DVD as well, but it’s not the same level of commitment as going into a cinema, sitting down and then enduring a movie with an audience. If I was a walker out, I would not have endured Rampo Noir to completion. As it stands, I’m surprised I managed to consume the entirety of Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai on DVD at a friend’s house. Then, I’m a movie masochist: I’ve seen 300 twice.

What I want to know is, what kind of person walks out of a movie? Are they serial walkers? What does the movie have to do to offend them so? Does it have to suck, or does it have to simply mention sucking off? What is the mentality? The only analogous situation I can think of was the Popcorn Taxi for Fast Food Nation last year when people walked out of the Q&A session because it was getting late and Linklater was being stubborn in his boringness.

The human condition calls for all things to come to an end: can you leave a movie hanging?

Image: Google Top Ten for “Cinema Walk Out”. I don’t know either.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Because “Pirates from a Whole Bunch of Places” would detract from the franchise.

Not being disappointed is fun. I summarily failed to be disappointed by At World’s End, but at the same time it was not quite as fun as it should have been. More Jack, I say! More hilarious character interactions! More delivery on expectations of exposition!

Given the depth of the potential of the Pirates franchise, it’s incredibly easy to give a list of things that could have been done better of featured more. So, while this was a very enjoyable film, I find myself drawn to the lack. Still! Still indeed. No spoilers this time: they are for a later edition. This is most definitely a “lite” write up.

Pro Tip: Stay until the end of the credits!

Pirate Fever

Call me “King Crazy”, and I’m sure you do behind my back, but I am King Excited about At World’s End. The situation is so bad that my parents, who never go to the movies, have seen it and I have not. In nigh on two hours, I will be basking in the Piratude.

It looks to me like our friend this movie is not going to review very well. I’ve seen things that have said that it’s more of the same, others that say it’s less of the same. If I turn out to love this here movie, I’m not making any apologies for it.

The majority of the things that people complain about in these movies are precisely what I love. I enjoy their “bloated”, overblown super natures. The end of Dead Man’s Chest was an excellent screw with the audience moment that pretty much vindicated the movie that had come before it. Basically I am not entirely certain what I’m saying here, but on one level I’m saying that Pirates, like death, are the next great adventure.

Last movie I was super excited about was King Kong, which was ultimately underwhelming. With Pirates, though, I believe that my feelings will be legitimate. That said, expect me to return to the internet in six hours, furious. I’m nothing if not arbitrary.

The Devine Comedy of The History Boys

The following does not take on a review form; it is a response to an editorial from the Sun Herald columnist Miranda Devine. I do not make any personal attacks on her, fortunately, but I felt a pressing urge to deconstruct her grossly inaccurate words about The History Boys that turned, once again, into an attack on homosexuality’s place in society.
(But she has a gay friend! That means she’s beyond reproach! … As long as she keeps this friend away from children, everyone will be just fine! No need to panic!)

I will write a review of the movie later; it eventually came to grab me, and I teared up at the end. As I cite specific examples of character conduct within, this will contain spoilers. It’s a slightly edited (ie less profane, because apparently profanity weakens an argument) version of something I originally wrote for my journal.

Tales From Earthsea

“It’s all right; they have wings.”

Going into a movie expecting the worst can sometimes turn out in one’s favour: when a movie is not, in fact, terrible and can perhaps even be termed “entertaining”, this is a victory. Tales From Earthsea is one such movie.

The problem with being made by Ghibli is that a certain standard of excellence is expected. The problem with being made by Miyazaki Goro is that the film is forced to live in his father’s shadow. For my money, I enjoyed this movie infinitely more than I did Howl’s Moving Castle.

Tales from Earthsea probably sucks as an Earthsea movie – consultation with my mother reveals that an enormous amount of this movie makes no sense from an adaptation perspective, and Ursula K. Le Guin agrees with this – but otherwise it’s a perfectly engaging, albeit generic, Ghibli fantasy film.

Science fiction: the victim of apathy that trickles down into hatred

Now, on underdeveloped scattershot argument theatre …

While I’ll be the first one to call Heroes silly, I’m not a professional TV critic. Alan Mascarenhas of the Sydney Morning Herald had this to write of episode 14, showing this week in Australia:

However, the show seems caught between different audiences. There are special effects but probably not enough to keep the science nuts happy. Any emotional drama is nobbled by the artificiality of the premise: it’s hard to feel much empathy for a mutant.

For one, Magneto would be furious.
For another, Mascarenhas probably doesn’t understand how any of these genres work, confessing that he’s “not science-fiction minded” and that he had not seen an episode of Heroes before episode 14.

I said of that episode:

I really enjoyed the first half of Heroes. Since then we've suffered at the hands of an invisible Haggard-esque degaying of Zach (I don't know: he still seems pretty gay to me), a general anti-climactic nature, boredom at the hands of Niki/Jessica, and the distinct impression that the writers are just throwing revelations at us for the sake of it.

Yeah; but I knew what I was talking about. On that note, Bryan Fuller
totally confirmed the Zach thing again. Now we’ll never see Odessa again anyway, so it doesn’t matter, but oh, what could have been.

Anyway, this sort of closed-mindedness in this day and age makes me sad. I wouldn’t mind if he were specifically criticising Heroes, but he’s laying waste to an entire genre. Many SF fans don’t watch SF solely for whizz bangery. Even something as frequently smug and annoying as Firefly (or, indeed, any of Joss Whedon’s work [I’ll save my rant against his ruination of Angel for when I feel like tearing someone to pieces]) features characters that one can care for, even if they haven’t first hand experienced hijacking a train of its medicine and then being attacked by conscience and then kicking a guy into a jet engine and then having a statue erected in their honour and then having an ill fated but well conceived film made out of respect for what could have been and becoming a leaf on the wind.

The use of fanciful settings for stories allows authors and directors to bring into sharper relief the humanity of their characters. Many stories are analogous to real life situations, and there’s a reason that comics have a strong following in the gay community: it’s not because of the tights; it’s because of double identities, not fitting in, and general difference.

A lot of good SF (if you can really call superhero stories SF when they’re kind of their own genre anyway) just drips with metaphor, and a lot of the time this works well. I wasn’t much of a fan of the X-Men movies, but their relevance to the gay community was … uncanny (“Have you ever thought of … not being a mutant?”). Then it took a turn for the worse with X-Men 3, which was Brett Rattner’s personal journey into “I have no idea what message I’m trying to get across here … I appear to have made the franchise a front runner advocate of pro-life? Okay.”

These frequently subtle, sometimes not, metaphors and subtexts are effective ways of teaching people about issues in roundabout fashions. I suppose that this common subversion is probably one of the reasons that comic books and SF are seen as negative influences, but there's no shame in learning. Unless that shame is the addiction to magic that made me hate Willow on Buffy for a long time (although that show did teach girls that it's okay to make out with other girls in the event that your boyfriend cheats on you with a werewolf – which in itself is okay because he’s also a werewolf).
This subtext is also important because sometimes things cannot be said, like the gay episode of Star Trek that wasn’t made 20 years ago (I’d give you more sources, but After Elton is a good resource and frankly, a google search for “gay Star Trek” yields Kirk/Spock. On a side note, could the gay Trek characters be any twinkier? I think not).

Genre is a flexible idea; one can’t discount an entire genre because one does not like a single entry in that genre (also, if anyone mentions Sturgeon’s Law, which is the refuge of cynics who hate freedom, I will be forced to … well, don’t push me). Genre can also make something that is absolute tripe, such as X-Men 3, into something marvellous. I loved X-Men 3 because it was completely by the numbers, designed for maximum emotional manipulation with the added bonus of pissing fans right off.

It’s true that fans can be among the most annoying people on the planet, but every field has people who bring it down for the rest of them. This illustrates to us all that not everyone is the same and, while some might like flash bang magic, others appreciate the genuine character that can be breathed into SF, fantasy and the like. Not every appreciator of the genre is a mouth breather; most people want to be accepted like everyone else, even without the desire for the escape that such flights of fancy so readily offer, and good SF can offer real and likable characters into the mix.

I claim to people who want to know the vague direction that my life will take once I leave university that I would like to become a journalist. Yet mainstream journalism hates the fringe, and it fears the internet, couching everything in terms of condescension that sneer at people who use computers or like video games. It happens, even in the more intellectual presses, and it’s not good. Unfortunately, the apathy that has become the zeitgeist for internet users means that the well meaning but ill informed will rule for a while yet. If SF is going to be as routinely awesome as Eric Cartman 2546, then the ignorami are the ones suffering.

The image of Flash Gordon with Ming the Merciless was one of the first page results for “science fiction sucks” on Google Image Search.

Shooter

Bang-b-bang-bang! Kaboom! Ra-ta-ta-ta! Whompf-whompf-whompf-whompf! Screeeeeeeeeeeee!

This was precisely the movie I needed. I can’t be serious all the time, I need some levity in my writing. What better source of levity could there possibly be than Mark Wahlberg shooting stuff until it explodes? The only real problem with Shooter is that I had to wait almost two hours before Mark Wahlberg started swearing at people. That’s easily what he does best.

300

Good people don’t wear clothes.

I was prepared to dislike 300, and feel bad about feeding its insatiable money machine. I had read about the film’s “Assault on the Gay Past” and expected the worst.

There are indeed some misgivings on that front, but 300 is in my eyes a film that is so ultimately inconsequential that it should have no lasting effect. Unfortunately, the meme hungry internet has latched onto 300, making it a huge beast. It is a beast made of nought but air, but a beast nonetheless. We shall see where this movie, which didn’t really need to be made beyond the trailer, finds itself in several years’ time.

Garden State

Unlike the stuff I see at the cinema, the DVDs I write about are picked totally arbitrarily.

I don't understand my peers' attraction to Garden State. Don't get me wrong, I like it; it's just that I had always assumed I held the monopoly on depressed, directionless people with emotional numbness that they are desperate to be rid of regardless of the pain that it inflicts upon them.

The Good Shepherd

“I’ll tie your shoe.”

Robert De Niro has, in The Good Shepherd, made a movie that fails to engage with its audience for the entirety of its near three hour run time. I don't have exacting standards, but my standards are slightly greater than this.

The fault does not lie at the feet of Matt Damon, but rather at those of his character: here he has been written into a corner as a man with no emotions. It's easy to portray no emotions on the silver screen, but it's infinitely more difficult to make someone care about these lack of emotions … even if the film itself explores the cause of this lack.