Anime Pilgrimage RTT

Eiken

April 9, 2005 on 11:55 pm | In Eiken | 3 Comments

Again, extreme use of breast synonyms follows. Also I went overboard with text enhancers.

I recommend Eiken.

Wait, no I don’t. In this world we have anime like Cosplay Complex and Love Hina that have very few redeeming features, but it is the anime like Eiken that receive the truly bad press. What I noticed when I removed the DVD from my player is that the logo is designed to read Eiken ….
Ultimately, “…” is the only appropriate response to this two episode, one hour tit festival.

What the hell is Eiken about? Nobody knows, not even those who have watched it. Especially not those who have watched it.
Mifune Densuke enrols himself at a school with 54,000 students. On his first day, he accidentally trips and fondles wunderkind Shinonome Chiharu’s gigantic breasts. For reasons unknown, this means that he is qualified to join the Eiken Club. What the Eiken Club does is unclear; the only thing for sure is that all of its members except the lolis have ginormous boobs.
After about seventeen minutes of hilarious misunderstandings!!!! between Chiharu and Densuke, the school’s annual competition kicks in. Who knows what the prize is? Who cares! Swimsuits!
The second episode continues the competition and introduces a rival for Chiharu’s non-existent affections!

Yeah, I still don’t know what it is about. What is plain to see is that Densuke has no personality. Also, Chiharu has no personality. Densuke even introduces himself as a “boring student”. Chiharu gets no dialogue beyond her stuttering. The rest of the club are just as hideous and annoying, from their leader Kirika with her arbitray decisions to the pink haired girl who probably doesn’t have a name and whose own boobs stick out well past her elbows. There’s even a scientist loli who complains about everything … and a bear.

The designers of Eiken clearly have no sense of aesthetic. The mammaries on display are somehow made to look even more sick by the bright yellow colour of the school uniforms. Amazingly, the one time when the look is almost pulled off okay is when the characters are wearing school swim suits. Kirika is somehow contained, yet there is no hope for pink haired girl (after all, pink haired girl has no torso to speak of; really, she’s just a host for two giant parasites).
Get the characters into normal swim suits and all hell breaks loose – they leak out the sides. To whom did this seem like a good idea? And why did it take a year to animate the second episode?

What is right about Eiken? Practically nothing. The only thing I can think of is the buttocks and panties; in the arena of fan service, miraculously they managed to get the lower half of the female body correct. The few moments when the camera focuses on anything other than massive tits are spent on the more realistically (and, importantly, more attractively) designed … not-breasts.
It is pretty sad when the best thing about an anime program is its ass content.

The cast is made up of mercifully few popular seiyuu, but Kawakami Tomoko has added a rare blotch to her resumé. There are a few up and comers, but most of the cast stayed in junk like this. Oshiro Miwa is particularly bad as Chiharu. Chiharu has no personality to speak of, and here you can see it’s not just the fault of the script!

Eiken is not good. Eiken does not make sense. The characters’ obscene breasts are only barely made up for by the tasteful-by-comparison ass and panty shots. Still, this does not deserve to be the most pilloried anime release ever. It’s not worse than so much other pointless, bad anime … without the boobs, it is almost certain that no one would care.