The Battle of the Bulge!

June 12, 2006 on 12:57 am | In Site News | 3 Comments

Due to an assignment on Wong Kar-Wai that I was working on last week (his films are good, you should watch them), I took a little holiday from the anime watching and writing. Then I took a two day break from most of the internet, and it was kind of liberating not checking a computer every five seconds for news of the mark.

On Friday I bought Dragon Quest: Journey of the Cursed King (Dragon Quest VIII to you non-PAL people) and it has proved quite fun so far; I’ve already played it for about 20 hours, which means I could have watched about fifty episodes of anime in such time. The thing that makes me want to mention this fact is not the Toriyama designs, or the godawful dubbing (Look! They hired real British people to play the fantasy land denizens! Except they appear to have had the actors read all of the sentences on different takes and jumbled them altogether, meaning there’s absolutely no flow to the dialogue). No, the fact is sex appeal. The sole heroine of the party, Jessica, can “realise her innate sexiness” if you allocate her stat bonuses well enough.
Furthermore, there is a buxom witch character who had a move called “Puff-Puff”. That’s right: “pafu-pafu”. There’s a screen of birds and so on for the actual puffing bit, but there’s no doubt as to what happens, because the shot cuts after the witch grabs her breasts.
This nefarious attack was carried out against all of my characters. Bandit Yangus and devil-may-care bishounen Angelo grinned stupidly and were unable to battle. Jessica won her own battle of the wills as she was confident in her cleavage.
What happened when this witch tried to use the wiley attack on our hero, Alex?

“Alex is not interested.”

I felt betrayed, like Zapp Brannigan when Kip would not accept the sentence of death by snuu snuu. “What are you, gay?”

So I’ll update tomorrow (technically today), having already “missed” the boat on several key “exclusives” I had going. Keep puffing, everyone.


  1. Alex, this is your conscience speaking. You are not interested in fan service. Believe me. Listen to the still small voice inside, Alex!

    Comment by Steven Den Beste — June 12, 2006 #

  2. By the way, I don’t have any idea where you got that picture from, but that red head is definitely the babe.

    Comment by Steven Den Beste — June 12, 2006 #

  3. She is the Jessica in question.

    As for fan service: I like it when it’s fun and irrelevant; I don’t like it when it’s a title’s raison d’etre. It’s a natural shift that has occurred within me over the years.

    Comment by Alex — June 12, 2006 #

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